Sunday, March 01, 2009

Floogin McNoogin, Super Sleuth

So my brother in law is a scumbag. I've stated this many times. The first time I made this claim was to an old girlfriend who grew up with this weasel who was, at the time, dating my sister. I referred to him as a free loading gold digging loser to my girlfriend and her roommate. The roommate was, at the time, dating a guy who was still friends with the scumbag. Word got back to him that I said this. He never said a word to me about it but it was clear that he knew. I guess his lack of defending himself should have been plenty of verification that I was spot on.

He has since married my sister and he is turning out to be just like his dad. A con man who has no problem tapping into all external resources so as to avoid any finanical responsibility of his own.

Some stellar issues that should have been warning signs to my dad who has now become an ATM for this moron.

Several years ago he came to my dad, hat in hand, asking how he should handle the student loans that he thought his father had paid. From day one, my sister talked about how great it was that her boyfriend worked thru college and struggled after college to pay off his student loans. Lie. He didn't and he then blamed his father. He came to my dad, seeking advice which was his way of asking my dad to pay for his debt. He did.

Over the years, these things popped up. The jackass didn't file taxes for several years. So, my dad took care of it. The balances on the various years were the moron's responsibility. After a year of nonpayment, he came to my dad, hat in hand, telling the sob story of how hard it is to raise 2 kids, take good care of his wife and still pay these things off. Poof, tax bills cleaned up.

Now the moron has a business with a partner and they decide to go their separate ways. My dad lends this con man $25k to get his business up and running. This was in August of 2008.

Fast forward to 2009 and he has tapped my old man for $80,000 so far, another $45,000
is available and he has not used the money for any business expenses. I know this because my bookkeeper has come to me, asking me to help deal with this. She said she asks questions about the company and his response ranges from "I'll make something up and get it to you" to "who's asking?"

Did he pay the $50,000 in payroll taxes he withheld from his employees? No.
Did he pay off the line of credit from his old company? No.
What was the initial money and the line of credit from my old man for? The above two items and any incidentals going forward.

So, here's what I have done this weekend, as I toil away in my office. I snooped.

Here's what I've discovered.

This moron has been holding the rent for the office. Sending in partial payments so that we have an outstanding balance of $20,000 in rent due. Guess who's name the lease is under. My company. Fucker has me on the hook for that.

He's brough in roughly $250,000 in the last 6 months. This is revenue. Add the $80,000 in money he clipped from my dad and he's done rather well. Didn't spend it on the big ticket items so, where the fuck did the money go?

Ok, the initial $25k? Personal account. Used to pay off personal credit card debt.
The $50k in accounts receivable he claimed to have and put up as collateral towards the line of credit my old man guranateed?

Yeah, that came and went too.

Skipped payments on the line my old man is on the hook for too.

This guy is a stain and he is taking advantage of my old man and my old man is stuck. Cutting him off means cutting his daughter off and he cannot do that.

Monday morning I am having a talk with my dad. Time for him to understand how badly he's being swindled. Time for him to do the right thing. This moron has done a few things in the last week that are guaranteed to chase his employees away. I'm not going to go into detail but what he did will result in their being alerted to his stupidity via tax issues. So, my old man is going to have to step up and pay more debts off for this guy and he is going to lose his employees resulting in no business.

So, my proposal is a simple one. Tell dumbass to fold up shop and put him on the payroll. Hire him to not be a fucking moron. Pay him $200,000 a year or whatever it is he's going to tap you for. His job description can be gopher, it can be prince or it can be deadbeat. Doesn't matter. He'll be getting what he wants, a job that pays well, requires no work and doesn't force him to use his brain.

Should be a hell of a meeting.


Someone You Don't Know said...

Unbelievable that the guy feels no shame in asking your father for money, over and over again.

Hope you can talk him into following your plan. He must be a really sweet man with the patience of a saint to be putting up with all that.

Floogin McNoogin said...

actually, he's no that sweet and patient. He is a father of three who has always felt the need to exert control and power over the three kids. As time wore on, he realized he no longer controlled his oldest daughter, he not only lost control of his son but, rather, he now relies on him to provide him with the income he needs to sustain the lifestyle he is accustomed to and he tries, desperately, to control the third by "helping" her family with money. The sad reality is, she owns him. She's got a tight grip on his balls and, for whatever reason, he seems to always be at her mercy.

My little sister is a conniving bitch that cannot be trusted. The things she has said, in an effort to gain favor with the old man are frightening. More so since he (and my mom) clearly favors her and will give her everything and anything and she can get all of it without resorting to outlandish claims.

Laura said...

I guess it is nice to come from a family that doesn't have money. We do ok.. the folks have a second home in England, but certainly not the money you are talking about. They dont pay my bills and I wouldn't ask. Well I did once for $200 (first married) and paid it back.

Tell you what, let your dad hire me for 200k, certainly a lot more than I am making, and I will work hard.

Someone You Don't Know said...

Well, that puts a completely different angle on it. Now it would appear that you are the one who is taking the brunt of most of this.

Floogin McNoogin said...

an update of sorts. I went over the issues with my dad this morning and his response was "I already cut him off."

I told him how the deadbeat never paid the withholding taxes and he should expect to be tapped for more as a result. His response was "I'm done paying for his fuck ups."

Unfortunately, he's saddled me with the task of explaining to numbnuts that being $20k behind in the rent is grounds for eviction.

foxy roxy said...

First off I have to say dammit! I've been up all night, laughing myself sick at these blogs. And as a writer, I admit you're writing has a hilarious element in it.

kudos for your humor, and as growing up in alcoholic family sarcasm and quick wits are a must. Said foxy roxy (not my real name) must admit your quips to get paid or laid are hysterical.

That being said, your father made the right decision, as it doesn't appear this man would grow up and be responsible any other way. It's sad, and sounds as if your father gave until he had nothing left to give. From someone without parents, it's disheartening to hear some could take such an advantage, regardless of whether there was excess to spare or not.

I feel for your situation, though, caught inthe middle and having to clean a mess created by others. Trust me, you're not alone in that front.
However, if you're forced to cover these debts, and still hand over money that someone else is handing out freely, I'm not sure what to say on that. Have a bourbon on me; the best in the house.

Floogin McNoogin said...

I'll take you up on that bourbon.