Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Free Flesh and Adventureland

Ok, so, I finish my meeting with a client and I'm walking back to my office and my dad asks me to come into his office. I stick my head in and he introduces me to this blonde woman who he's meeting with. I know all of our clients and I have no clue who she is but she says it's nice seeing you again so I agree with her. My dad says "come all the way in, I want to talk about something."

I do the wise ass, "am I in trouble?" routine and walk in, grab a chair and sit down.

My dad says "don't get comfortable, I just wanted you to be in the office when we spoke.

So I stood up and asked "this work for you?"

"Perfect" he said with a Nicholsonesque cheshire smile.

He then tells me about this woman's desire to get into the medical sales field and he asks if my client (I have one who sells surgical supplies) is looking for sales reps. She then interrupts and I turn towards her and that's when I see it. Her right breast is exposed. Not a little. It's out there. Her shirt has moved over a bit too much and she's flashing me. I look away a little. I've only seen this twice in my life. Once, when I was kid, my cousin's bathing suit popped back. she was 9, I was 14 and I think I said "your flashing tit" or something and that was it. The second time was on the street. A hot model (I work in the fashion district), was walking down the street and one boob was out. Way out. Guys were snapping pics with cell phones. She was oblivious. I casually walked over and said "you might want to fix that" and gestured, with my eyes, towards her chest. She tucked the errant hooter back in place, whipped the other one out for a second, said "now you've seen the set" and asked if I was going to show mine to even up. Handled well on her part. I, however, stammered and stuttered like a fucking idiot.

So, anyway, I'm talking to this woman, her tit is out, my old man is smiling at me and I'm trying not to look at the tit and the conversation is not a short one and I can't figure out how to fix the situation. I am enjoying the tit but it's really wrong and unprofessional and oh, there you go, nice work unforseen hand that somehow managed to wrangle the tit back into place and oh, no, hello again my cherry tipped little flesh mound.

And so it went. For a solid 15 minutes. The mammary with a mind of its own wandered in and out of her shirt like McCain across the stage in a presidental debate. At some point I couldn't take it anymore and my dad brought up my friend again and I'd been calling him by his first name the whole time and I slipped and called him by his nickname, and you are just going to have to believe me here, but his nickname is Hooter, and my father turns purple and I know he's either dying or he's holding in the kind of laughter that got your thrown out of class when you were 12 and I saw that this was about to get horribly ugly so I said "I need to speak to Hooter so let me email him and, hopefully, he'll get back to me before you guys finish up."

Then I turned and left. The laughter has yet to be released.

And what, you ask, does Adventureland, mean?

Ahh, Adventureland. This was a small amusement park near my home growing up. I don't know if I ever actually went there but I remember it well. Very well. There were, actually, two of them. One of them had the scariest looking rides (for the time) and the other was a more all around friendly kind of park.

Anyway, there's a movie coming out at the end of March called Adventureland. Two of the producers are clients of mine. The movie is from the mind of the director of Superbad. The cast is great, the soundtrack is right out of the 80's and it's supposed to be a great coming of age with modern comedy touches a la breakfast club meets apatow.
The redband trailer:

(sorry about the unclickable link but the set up isn't showing the link when I do it correctly.)

So, anyway, I just got my press screening pass and I'm psyched. For starters, I never get to see movies anymore. Getting to see one that I want to see and one that I can see, for free, during this hellish time of year? Fucking home run.

So, yeah, I'm a bit amped up about it.

I'll let you know how the movie is after I see it. Way before the movie is released.

Cause I'm cool like that.


foxy roxy said...

Boy, i have been on the opposite end of that spectrum; the flasher.

sixteen, in a pool at my friend's. The event didn't bother me. Christ, it's just a boob.
it was by friend's brother's reaction that pissed me off.
The look he had on his face was horrifed disgust, as though I'd traumatized him, a fifteen year old.
What nerve. I have great adornments. Spectacular, then and now.
It was my first lesson that not all males are...boob men.

Floogin McNoogin said...

I'd flash em if I had em.

foxy roxy said...

you? with boobs?
christ, i can see it now.
one hand in your shirt, the other in your pants.

you wouldn't get anything done then. but you'd draw one hell of a crowd.

Floogin McNoogin said...

ew, now I can see it too