Thursday, February 26, 2009


I figure I'll have plenty of things to discuss, should I find the time so expect Disney posts for a while.

Anyway, I'm home. The trip was actually pretty good. The folks who run the tourism division of Disney are fucking brilliant. We curbside checked our bags and didn't touch them again until we got back last night. They handle getting them at the airport, bringing them to the hotel and then they have a curbside check-in style set up at the hotel so there's no lugging your shit around whilst dealing with your exhausted kids. Fucking brilliant.

I hate large hotels. I hate large groups of people and, well, I hate large people.

Disney is all of this.

The largest collection of fat people I have ever seen. So fat that they look like they might be part of the show. Huge, parade float people everywhere, wandering around, eating. It's scary to see a 1000 pound man inhaling a turkey leg and a coke. I mean it. My son loves to call people "big fat man" or "big fat woman" but this trip he managed to not say it once. Probably afraid he'd be eaten by one of the big fat people.

Some quick hits as I am way behind in my work and need to catch up or I won't be able to pay for the trip.

1. My daughter, at 6 years of age, asked why anyone would go to Disney on their honeymoon. To quote her - "why, Daddy, it's noisy and it's all kids. That's not romantic at all" She's a fucking genius.
2. Same child, age 6, like rollercoasters. She went on all of them. Loops, corkscrews and backwards, she loved them all. Fucking dare devil and guess who she always wanted with her - yup, me!. I did let the wife do some hairy rides with her so I missed a few of the good ones but I have a feeling I'm going back next year.
3. My son is fucking cool. The kid was in character heaven but he seemed most pleased when he was being hugged tight by the many hot young ladies playing the various princesses. Dude's a stud.
4. My kids are not into buying shit. We referred to the crap they sell at Disney as mouse droppings (mouse shit, get it?) We'd wander into a store to get gifts and my kids could care less about the shit. No nagging for things (the boy did, once, for some buzz lightyear toy and he got it because he didn't ask for anything the entire time).
5. The number of people faking handicaps to cut lines was frightening. The number of people on scooters because they couldn't walk due to being dinosaur sized was even more frightening.

All in all, it was a great trip but it really was like walking in the land of fat people.

Scary stuff.

1 comment:

Laura said...

Glad you had fun. The anticipation is always worse.

How did the boot behave?