Wednesday, February 04, 2009

A Good Old Fashion McRant

Let's see, where to begin. My wife told me that, since she has no source of income, she cannot figure out how she will pay her bills. So, being the caring husband that I am, I told her I would help her out but I had a few rules. First, they must all be current. If she hands me some late shit that she was avoiding (she does this), it won't count towards the current situation - old bills, incurred whilst working and all that.

Second rule, no excessive spending. I have no problem paying for the food, the kids shit etc. I do that anyway. Mrs. McNoogin has a way with credit cards and shopping that is a total mystery to me. She will walk into a store and drop $4,000 on shirts, knowing she will be returning $3,800 worth once she decides which one she really wants. This would all be fine, fucking moronic, but fine nonetheless, if she returned the stuff during the billing cycle. She doesn't. She keeps shit for two, three months, then she returns it. Again, all fine, idiotic for sure but, fine, provided she paid the bills each month. She has this thing where she figures, if she plans on returning it, she shouldn't pay for it. So, she incurs late fees and interest while she stores the items for the retailers. Fucking moronic. I've tried to show her how fucking wasteful this is but she just can't seem to understand it. So, I won't pay for any excessive spending. She wants a shirt, buy it. It. Not them. I see shit laying around the apartment that, she says, is for returns, fine. I find she hasn't returned shit during the cycle, no more free cheese from me.

Third, cut the fat. I asked her if she cancelled her gym membership. She said no, she can't do that. I know, y'all are thinking, cruel Floogin, cruel. On the contrary, she has been paying the gym for over 8 years now. She has been there 4 times. Each time was to discuss the money she paid without every using the facilities. She gets them to give her free training sessions, which she then never uses. I don't even know how much a membership costs but $1 a month for the last 8 years that would be $96 pissed away. So, I told her I wasn't paying for it. She told me she will start going, she needs to loses weight (she doesn't) blah blah blah which leads me to the final, most important aspect of my agreement.

She has to provide me with the thing I need most. Yup, I want it and I want it often. I don't care how she feels, how she looks or whether or not she is even interested, she must provide me with this.

I want to watch my shows without interruption. Every night I settle down to watch a show I taped, I thru about half the show and she plops down next to me and asks "what else is on?" Well fuck you. If I asked her to stop watching a show halfway thru it, she'd tell me to watch in the bedroom. I'm asking for the same fucking courtesy.

So, a couple of weeks ago, my old man told me how he lent my brother in law some money to help him with his business. I told him I thought he was nuts, that my brother in law was not capable of running a business and the only way for it to work would be if he brought in a partner to manage the business while he worked the selling and account management side of things. I then quickly added that I was not willing to take that job on. I asked my dad how much and he said he cosigned a line of credit for him in exchange for his receivables.

Well, then I found out that he tapped my dad for $25k 6 months ago, right around the time he bought a nice big flat screen tv, new home theater set up etc for his living room. Must be a coincidence. Then my dad told me he hasn't been making the necessary payments for withholding taxes and various employer required insurance. The penalties for not having workman's comp etc could be as high as $22,500 for the last 6 months. He didn't have the money to pay his employees' taxes. That was his reasoning. Ok. But he had the money to take his family to Disney. As soon as my sad cosigned the first of two lines ($100k total), he decided his family should fly rather than drive to Disney. Oh, and he also decided to throw himself a nice 40th birthday party which, a month earlier, he decided was a waste of money that he didn't have.

So, my dad, who is only free with his money when it comes to this deadbeat and his wife, is feeling a bit like a schmuck and, rightfully, so. Seems the fucknut missed the first payment, resulting in the bank tapping my dad's personal account for the payment. He asked me what he should do. I asked him if he was going to listen to me this time. He said yes. I told him to cut the guy off. Call the banks, tell them to freeze the line where it is.

I am exhausted dealing with stupidity and lunacy.

I need a reprieve.

5 comments:

Aisha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Floogin McNoogin said...

Well, now, if you think I'm going to not publish that you are crazier than I am and, for the record, I am flattered.

If only I knew who you were.

Aisha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Floogin McNoogin said...

Now I know you're crazier than I am.

you're going to have to help me out here. you know who I am, do I know you?

Aisha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.