Friday, January 23, 2009


Ok, so a bunch of local department stores settled a price fixing lawsuit recently and the end result is that starting this past Monday, they all had to give away free make-up. They are doing this until $175 million in overcharged merchandise is returned to the customers.

And how, you ask, are they doing this? Starting this past Monday, you simply had to go to any of the stores and pick up your free shit.

Since their doors opened Monday morning, there have been insane lines to get the freebies. At Macy's, the line stretches around the all four sides of the building and then heads into a back entrance. Where it goes from there is beyond me but the line barely moves. I've watched it. Bloomingdale's has a similar line, not quite as long and, I presume, the other stores also have lines like this.

Today is Friday. Five fucking days of standing on line, shuffling foreward two steps, standing still, shuffling, standing, shuffling. I asked how long the line was taking and the girls responded "hours."

Hours. Not an hour. Not a couple of hours or a few hours but hours. That, in my book, means 4 or more hours. Like this was an all day affair for these folks.

And all this waiting is for what?

I figured they were giving out store credit. The news said they were giving the overcharge back to men and women so it couldn't be a single product and, since it wasn't an overcharge of just one manufacturer, whatever they were returning should cover everyone and everything in the makeup section, no?

No. The women are waiting on line for a little mascara tube. One little tube of mascara. That's it. 4 or more hours for fucking mascara.
A product that costs $7 at walgreens and $25 at Nordstrom? Four hours for that? Seriously? Is this what we've come to? I'm waiting for free shit, regardless of the wasted day or the unpaid hours.

If I announced free shit for two days would all these morons line up for a bag of my shit, free?

I do think so.

An experiment is in order. I just need to start bagging my shit first.

I'd ask for help but then I'd be giving away your shit, not my shit and I highly doubt anyone would want to help bag my shit.


foxy roxy said...

I wish I could digress.
Sadly, i cannot. The more people I meet, the more certain it becomes that millions of adults have somehow been lobotomized.

I detest stupidity, and only wish there was a charity or foundation to help the poor schleps.

One little nugget i've dealt with-
my ex once told my niece- who was working on a history report about slavery, etc- that the underground railroad was a subway.

I'm going to hell, because I laughed uncontrollaby, and almost in his face.
Right. Harriet Tubman led and hid the runaway slaves north via the L train.
What a dipshit.

Floogin McNoogin said...

Wait, are you saying that Harriet Tubman didn't transport the runaway slaves via the subway?

What the fuck is an underground railroad if it isn't a subway? Is anything I learned real? There were those panthers, right? There were black panthers that somehow got loose in the cities, right?