Friday, May 07, 2010

I Used An Ipod, sorry Ipad.

Ok, so I was actually handed a maxipod, yes, that's what I'm calling it and you should too because that is all it is.  Was it cool?  Absolutely.  Do I see a market for it?  Sort of.  Do I understand why they're being gobbled up by mindless consumers?  Yup.

Let me start by saying that it is very cool. It really is. Remember the first time you held an ipod/iphone/touch? It's like that. The only problem is, it's just like that. It's the same thing. For me, it was like the first time because I don't have any of those and I've never used my daughter's ipod. So, yeah, it's really cool and groundbreaking, unless you have any other "i" product.

I played pinball on it. Very cool. Just what the world needs, more reasons to blow off work. With twitter, facebook and everything else being posted to from cell phones, ipods, etc, we can blow off work without accessing these sites from out computers. Do we also need a much larger gaming device? No. Why? You can't play it with your hands under your desk, just out of view of anyone that might walk in the door.

I checked out a couple of books. Now, I'm an avid reader and I begrudgingly bought an ereader (nook) back when I went on that cruise to hell. I bought the nook because I didn't want to schlep a bunch of books onto the boat. The nook is great for reading but it has one problem that I is, for me, a pretty big deal. You can see what page you are on and how many pages are in the book but you cannot see how many pages until the end of the chapter. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to flip the pages and see if the chapter I'm in is short enough to finish. I've found myself still reading, long after I had planned to close my eyes for the night. Not just because it's a good book. No, it's because I haven't come to a spot that I can end on. I don't know if the apple reader has that feature but, given the graphically fast page turning, you can flip to the end of the chapter fast enough so, in that aspect, it's got the ereader beat. Sadly, the screen is not meant for reading books. It was too bright to read the book on the device so the owner changed the brightness. Then it was substantially darker which, in theory, would give me less of a headache but I was then stuck staring at my reflection while reading and, as anyone who has seen me can attest, that's a huge distraction.

I suggested the owner pick up Alice In Wonderland as I'd heard it was incredible. He did. As you turn the pages, there are objects on the page that move. If you turn the device, they fall to the bottom of the screen. You can move them around with your finger and you can flick them and make them bounce. Very, very cool. Also, pointless. Clearly, not meant for grown ups. No, this is something that would only be added to children's books (and young adults) but who's giving their 8 year old an ipad? Wait, I know. All the morons who bought the first version and will replace it in 6 months when they new one, with still/video cameras and a phone come out. Seriously, if I was reading a book and had some stupid distracting graphic bouncing around, I'd turn it off. If you want your kid to actually read, the last thing you want to do is stick an intentional distraction in front of them.

Here, Junior, read this and try not to play with the very enticing moving bunny.

It plays music via itunes. No point discussing that.

It gets your email and does all the other things exactly the same as your iphone/pod/touch so there's no point discussing any other features.

It's bigger than the aforementioned "i"s. That's it. Nothing more than that. Seriously. It is nothing more than a very big ipod touch.

It's not an ipad, it's a maxipod.


Anonymous said...

It is hysterical, but the pic of the guy with his cock in the exhaust made me wetter than all get out.


Floogin McNoogin said...

that was me. yeah, that's right, that was me in my favorite car fucking outfit. The car was stranded, lost, and I acted on her fear. I slipped into the lace, snapped those garters on (garters, by the way, are far sexier than the thigh ups) and smooth talked that beat up old whore of a car into taking my dick in her exhaust pipe.

not sure what's sicker, the comment above or your getting "wetter than all get out" over the pic.

twisted. I like it.