Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Sacrificial Lamb

I've been debating posting any of this crap as it will either make me look like I'm seeking pity or some other shit and I'm not. I think it might just be nice to get it off my chest and, since I will probably wind up sending an email to a few of the parties involved, it might actually help.

So, be forewarned. It isn't funny. It isn't happy. It is nothing more than the shit I deal with on a daily basis.

This weekend, after a nice day spent at our beach club, we packed up the kids and headed to my parents' place. Over the course of the weekend I swallowed my tongue on several occasions as my brother in law created more chaos that I have to clean up.

For starters, he told my dad he was moving out. Vacating the office space we shared. So, my father and I discussed it and I said I had a tenant if he was really moving. "He's gone. End of May the space is available."

So I got a tenant. Same amount the deadbeat was supposed to pay. Then, in talking to the new tenant, I found that he only needed one of the offices and I found us a second tenant. So, we went from carrying this piece of shit to actually reducing our rent. Win win.

Until Saturday night. I went out to dinner with the deadbeat and my sister and another couple who we are both friendly with. (don't ask how he can afford to dine out at an expensive restaurant, it's beyond me). Over the course of the meal he's talking up how he's "streamlining" his company, focusing on one area to maximize profits etc. Truth is, he's abandoning the old company and his wife will start a new that he will work for. This way he won't drag his shitty history into yet another company. Someone at the table asked him where he was moving his offices to. He said he wasn't moving. I was perplexed and I asked him about it. He said "I told your father I was moving into one office."

Great, now I need to tell one tenant he's out and reduce the rent of the other guy because he's taking less space as a result of the non-moving piece of shit.
I get the chaos, he lies to either me or my dad and winds up with free rent.

Sunday night, the whole family has a big dinner. This means the deadbeat has been drinking since 3 and by 8 at night, he's a fat, slurring sweaty mess. After the meal, my son, his kids, my older sister, my other brother in law, my wife, my mother and the other kids are all sitting around the table talking. My dad, my daughter and the deadbeat's wife are all watching tv in another room. The phone rings. My brother in law (the good one) picks up the phone. It's the bank calling for my father. I take the call, figuring, cold call. Who else calls on Sunday night?

Turns out it's a serious call. My father's line of credit is way overdrawn and way behind in payments. My father has no line of credit. Well, he does but he obtained it, using a business I own with him and my sisters, for the deadbeat. So, the deadbeat is behind and overdrawn. I explain to the woman on the phone that I will handle the overdraft and the late payments Tuesday morning, as soon as the bank opens and I hang up. My brother in law, who is overdrawn and late, goes into a nice little riff on how my father must be getting old and he probably can't manage all of his accounts anymore and that would be why he is bouncing checks and late on his payments.

Um, right. You fucking leech.

I say nothing.

Monday we go fishing. Me, my kids, my older nephew, deadbeat and his kids. We're out for about 2 hours when the kids (his) want to head in and get yoohoos and candy. So, we pack up and go. We pull into the marina and I'm going to tie us up but I see no lines. I ask if they (the deadbeat and the older nephew) if they can grab some lines. My nephew jumps up and starts opening compartments, looking for lines. The bloated deadbeat? Sits there, pointing to the compartment next to him. He could lean over and grab the lines without lifting more than half an over sized ass cheek. Does he? No. He points. My nephew has to walk around the boat to grab the lines. He does. As I'm tying up, the deadbeat jumps off, grabs his kids and heads up, leaving me, the kids, my dad and my nephew to tie up. I help my daughter off and she follows them up. The rest of us tie up with my dad and my son hanging out.

I finish tying up, grab my nephew and my son and up we go. We stop to check out the fishermen filleting their hauls. As we head up to the marina my nephew, who is 14, says "you think deadbeat's gonna ask for money?"
He's 14 and he sees it.

Sure as shit, the door to the shop slams open and the fat fuck comes barrelling out mumbling "is he coming up or do I have to down and get the money from him?"

Fucking guy rushes off and doesn't bring money.

Total scumbag.

I head into the shop and I ask how much for the kids' stuff and one more yoohoo and a bag of skittles.


This piece of shit couldn't spring for $6 worth of shit for three kids (I added my son to the mix afterward).

I paid.

Back on the boat and then to the marina that we dock the boat in. I hop off the boat, one foot on, one off to get the 4 kids off. Fatty sits there, doesn't move.
I contemplate dropping his annoying kids into the water.

I walk the kids up to the waiting cars and then head back to our slip to help tie up. My father is backing up the boat as my nephew is keeping us from banging into stuff.

Fatty sits.

If there was an Olympic event for sitting and sweating, he'd be banned from the sport for being too fucking good.

I tie up. My nephew offloads 7 rods and heads up to put them in the car. Fatty grabs a small rod and leaves for the car.

I tie up and I carry my kids shoes, sweatshirts, hats, my binoculars (gift from a friend, wanted to try them out - very cool), my father's stuff, some other shit that needs to be repaired and deadbeat's kids stuff.

that's right, this fat lazy piece of shit was sitting in the car while I carried his shit.

We head home and I'm sitting, alone, with my brother in law (the good one). We're away from everyone. We're sitting there talking and he asks for my take on the yacht club thing. Along with milking my old man for $100k and more in cash, he's requested (presumably with my sister) that my parents buy them a yacht club membership to go with the golf club membership they buy him each year.

I tell the good one that I think it's a joke. I tell him I can't believe the balls of this guy, asking for all that money and then asking for golf and yacht club memberships. I say, if it were me, I'd cut back before taking but, on the bright side, the house will be much quieter (a reference to their annoying whiny kids and the screaming deadbeat does). The good one says "yeah, it will be quieter until lunch, not like they'll pay for lunch."
Then he laughs and says "no, wait, he'll charge that to your dad too."

I tell him not to be so sure. I tell him how my father cut off the house account on the membership when the cheap fuck charged $10 worth of golf balls to my dad. Every week for two months.

Suddenly, my mother screams at me. She calls me jealous. She says I'm acting like a little girl. I just shake my head back and forth. My mother was eaves dropping, waiting, in the house, a good 10, 15 feet away, listening to us.

I tell her I am acting like a big girl and it ends there.

Or so I thought.

I decide to let it go. I know now that my mother is willing to destroy what's left of her relationship with her son, her blood, in an effort to protect this piece of shit.

There's no point discussing it with her as she will accuse me of having a persecution complex and god knows what else. Guess what? When someone eaves drops and waits for 20 minutes before alerting you to their presence, you should have a persecution complex because you're being monitored and observed for wrongdoing.

I decided late Monday night that I am finished with this bullshit. I am no longer going to be involved in dealings with this crap. It's boring. It depresses me and the hurt and aggravation isn't going to make my life better.

Then my dad comes to work today.

He says he spoke with deadbeat and that we should

and I cut him off. I say, very calmly, "listen, it's best if you deal with the new tenant and deadbeat. I'm tired of being in the middle and being blamed for all the problems. I'm tired of having everyone watch me with a scornful eye when they don't know the whole story and I'm tired of listening to one thing and having to play fix and clean up when the truth finally comes out. From now on, you deal with it and I won't be put into positions that make my life difficult."

My father goes mental. I'm a shit stirrer. I'm this I'm that.

So I tell him, I tell him how his golden boy said he was too old to manage his own account and how I sat there, biting my tongue. My old man accused me of making this up. He called my brother in law (the good one) to confirm. I walked out.

My father, too, has offered me up as a sacrifice so as to protect my brother in law from...?

From what?

I'd say they're protecting my sister from knowing she married a deadbeat but I think she knows that.

How could she not?

So, I leave. I go to verizon to deal with some shit, I get myself lunch etc.

I come back and there's a check from the deadbeat's business account, payable to my company, on my desk.

What the fuck? $2,194? He doesn't owe me anything. I don't want his money.

My father comes in to talk about something and asks "did you see the check?"
"um, yeah dad. why is he paying me with money that is going to be taken from you anyway? why am I getting money?"

Apparently, he's paying me for the work I did. I didn't do any so I'm considering this some lame fucking attempt to buy me off.

It won't work.

I'm drafting an email to the two people who claim to be my parents and I'm explaining to them the concept of love and blood and all that crap. I'm explaining that even Jeffrey Dahmer's mother probably sat and showed support when he was on trial.

Me? I get thrown under a bus for $2,194.


Aisha said...

Good luck Floogin. That is a really awful situation you are in.
How you haven't given in and punched the guy, i don't know.

As for your parents...their loss. Just remember, you're a better parent than that, you broke the cycle.

Floogin McNoogin said...

truth is, I've learned to accept that he's a gold digging deadbeat. It's not my problem, it's theirs. when it falls on my lap, it's my problem.

Sadly, I am thinking about the future here. When my dad dies, who's going to have to handle this shit? Who's going to be paying rent for him, payng off his debt etc?

I don't want that job. I have money sinks of my own.

I have enough shit to deal with in my own life, having me handle his problems and letting his crap stain my shoes is simply not part of the plan.

Anonymous said...

That worm isn't worth the time it would take to kill him.

He's not worth pissing on should he happen to catch fire.

Sadly, I've actually met the scumbag and didn't terminate the piece of shit for one of my best friends, Floogin, (not his real name), and now he has to deal with this horseshit.


Anonymous said...

All i'm going to offer you is an IOU the biggest hug in history, and I'm not a deadbeat...i pay my debts.
Feel free to cash that in whenever you need.
You know how to find me.

Trenton said...

There's a time in everyone's life when it becomes apparent that you need to draw the proverbial "line in the sand". This is it man.

Tell the deadbeat the way that it's going to be, and if he doesn't pony up the shit that he needs to meet his end of the bills, that you'll drop the paperwork in his parent's lap to have them peruse it.

I guess it'll depend then on whether or not they'll even pay attention to the evidence, considering the fact that they "love" this thing that resembles a son, vaguely I might add.

I just think that it's high time that someone answers for their mistakes, and in a BIG way. Can't you cut him off somehow?

Trent :-|

Floogin McNoogin said...

sadly, while the worm isn't worth it, he isn't the issue. what he does and what he cons out of my folks is not my problem. I could care less if they gave him everything, so long as I don't have to deal with any fallout. When he gets the line of credit and abuses it, it doesn't cause me trouble. When the line of credit is linked to my business, resulting in my being responsible for 1/3 of the debt, it's my problem. I don't want that.

when the line is late and he mocks the old man for being too old to manage his accounts, it's my problem.

I'm bothered by the way my parents, individually, have thrown me under the bus in order to protect this guy and my sister. My mother doesn't know what's what so her comments are childish and sad. My dad, thinking I am a malicious prick, kicking a guy when he's down, is downright ridiculous. My dad is trying to keep my mom and sister from learning about the money he's been taking (wonder if they know about the student loans my dad paid off for him...). My mom is trying to make her daughter happy and she is trying to make it appear as if my sister and her husband are doing well, making money and living a good life thanks to their hard work.

What my mother doesn't understand is that it is ok to give money to your children when they need it not. There's no shame in helping them and, actually, she will look better for being so generous. Instead, she hides it all, makes it all appear as if it is something else and then treats her own children (my other sister and me) like shit in the process.

So, while I'd love a hit on the deadbeat, and I'd love to cut off the deadbeat from any and all funds, I really think that the problem to be addressed is with my folks.

One thing I'm considering is tossing the old man out of the business. Telling him he can still come in, I'll give him a salary and that's that.

Divorce of sorts. Thus, he has no decision making here and I can rent my space to whomever I want and I don't have to subject myself to being on the shit end of everything that transpires.

But first, I'm sending them an email. I'm enlightening them as to the problem. I'm spilling the beans with my mom so that she can now judge me and make her pointed, hateful comments with a modicum of information to back her up. At the end of the day, it won't matter, she'll still give our relationship the shaft in favor of him but, now, when she does it, she'll do it with the knowledge that I am fully aware of how small and petty she is.