Thursday, May 28, 2009

My Son Might Actually Know God

As I mentioned in the previous posting, my son seems to have an in with the dude in the sky. I mentioned that this might not be a bad thing for me, that, perhaps, the big fella might toss some karma my way.

Well, it seems, Zoogin (not his real name) said something to his buddy because my wife called and told me she convinced Best Buy to take the Apple TV doorstop that my sisters gave me for my birthday. The drunken deadbeat brother in law slipped and mentioned how he had over $500 worth of apple gift cards and credits thanks to his 40th birthday and how he bought the gift for me and still had more than $250 left.

Well, I have taken his regift, which he got cash from my other sister for, and added to the regift chain. I had no receipt so I couldn't return it anywhere other than apple and apple is a store that I wouldn't be able to use a $1 credit at because I don't buy their products. So, I told my wife to turn it in at best buy and get little Zoogin his dsi for his upcoming birthday. The dsi is my mother in law's gift to him. I told my wife to get the dsi, games, case etc until she spends the full $220.

Well guess what?

She returned it at Best Buy, after convincing the floor manager to let her speak to the store manager who immediately said yes. And how much does this pointless device sell for at Best Buy? $270 (with the tax). That's right. I got an extra $50 by returning it at Best Buy.

So, the boy got the dsi, a starter kit (whatever that is), two games and 2 years of insurance for $30 out of pocket.

My mother in law is going to demand I take money and I won't take it. I'll explain the pay it forward deal and how, thanks to Z's being bff with the holy dude, it would behoove me to pass the favor along lest we upset the chain and cause biblical issues like brimstone or frog plagues or some such shit.

Thanks go out to Zoogin for wanting the dsi and mentioning it to his buddy God.
Thanks to my wife for being, her words here, a persistent bitch and getting this thing out of my life.
Thanks to Best Buy for selling this pointless piece of shit for $50 more than apple does.
Thanks to the store manager for listening to the holy whispering in his ear that said "thou shalt take this fruity piece of shit back from this family, they've been through enough."
And now, since I will never be able to do this on a grander stage than my pathetic blog, never be able to broadcast my thanks like mvps, oscar winners etc, I'm gonna do it here.

Thanks to my wing man, my hero, GOD, for giving me the courage to suggest my wife go to the Best Buy on 86th street instead of the one on 45th and 5th. Without my faith in GOD, I'd still be using the apple tv as a doorstop and a box to prop up other boxes.
GOD you rock.

I'm Going To Disneyword


Laura said...

wow three in one day, what an honor. And the DSi rocks we have one.

Now instead of complaining about the wife, be glad she is a least sometimes.

Does Z do favors?

Floogin McNoogin said...

for you?


foxy roxy said...

If he does favors, I have a couple.

I'd love smaller boobs, a book on the bestseller list, and an imperfect but sweet guy who can make me laugh and thinks I'm the cutest thing he's seen since Jessica Simpson donned daisy dukes.

Big favor, I know. Might have to give noogies for those. And in return, I'll name a character after him.


Laura said...

And why not?

Floogin McNoogin said...

Boobs are not meant to be tinkered with. Big or small, unless there's a medical reason to mess with them, leave them be.

Have I mentioned that my left nut is slightly smaller than my right?

Did you laugh?

Jessica Simpson in daisy dukes? who gets turned on by a cartoon in short shorts.

Now I know you laughed.

Make sure that character's name is spelled right. That's F..L..O..O..G..I..N and make sure he's got a killer smile, a huge cock (to go with the ego) and slightly uneven eggs.