Saturday, April 03, 2010

Not So Alone Anymore

So, last night, I worked until close to ten and then walked home. I was all set for a quick bite and some couch time to catch up on all the shows I missed this week.

The twins wanted some fun but I was tired, not up for it at all. I told them my plans for the night and they said they understood but wanted to hang out with me so, stupidly, I obliged.

No sooner had I put my dishes in the dishwasher, did they start in on me.

I explained that I wanted to watch Fringe, they promised to obliged.

Two minutes into the show, they're all over me. Moving over my body, trying to find their way into my pants.

I managed to fend them off during fringe but, when parenthood was turned on, they protested. After a lengthy argument about my needing rest, needing some down time, they asked me why I even asked them to hang out with me. I reminded them that I wanted nothing more than to watch tv and sleep and then they got weird on me.

You need us, they said.

No, I don't

Yes, you can't live without us, they told me.

I think I can.

I told them that I had warned them that this wasn't going to be anything more than a little fun while the wife was out of town. They told me they can't do that. They told me they want to be by my side, always.

I told them that was impossible.

Getting rid of us impossible, they said.

Seriously, I cannot walk around with you two hanging by my sides, practically attached to my wrists.

But, yes, you can they said. We will always be there. We won't go away.

So now I have these two sex craving nutters refusing to leave.

They're here in the office with me now. One on either side of me, telling me to shut the door so we can have a little play in the office.

I need to get my work done. They are insatiable. They are crazy.

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