Friday, June 12, 2009

The Giftless Streak Continues

So, last night was my anniversary. Nine years of wedded bliss. So she tells me.

Took Mrs McNoogin out to dinner. Daniel. Very nice, very fancy. Good food. Good time. Went home and there were boxes of gifts for me to open. My wife decided it was time to give me last year's channukah gift, my birthday and our anniversary gifts all at once. I'm guessing there was a sale at Barney's so she hit the store with a vengeance. I opened the first box. A nice belt. Too small and I don't really need another black belt so back it goes. Next box. Two long sleeve shirts, sweatshirt like in appearance. "They're for after the beach" she tells me. "Black? After the beach?" Back they go.

A jacket. Ugly. Looks like a nascar driver's jacket minus all the color and patches. She says I need another spring/summer jacket. I tell her I have two black jackets and the suede brown. She says "forgot about them but this was more than 50% off."

I then explain that I don't want a gift that was a good bargain, I want a gift that is right for me, something I will like.

Next box.

a weekend bag. This I like. Leather bag, blue with brown stripes. Very classy, very nice. "It's perfect for when you go away for a weekend." I only go away with her for weekends and, thanks to her and the kids, I pack a huge bag and fit all of their shit in with mine. I tell her I will attempt to pack for a weekend tonight, see if the bag is big enough. I'm fairly sure it isn't. It's really a gym bag but I didn't want to tell her this.

So, no gifts. Again. I know, I'm difficult but I'm certainly not going to let my wife waste money on things I don't want or need. More so since she is unemployed.

So, back to the drawing board she goes and now she has the added misery of father's day coming up too. Last father's day she was successful, perhaps this one will break the curse.


MR.CIA said...

Dont be so miserable, they arent some bad gifts.

be thankfull for having a wife and some little monsters.

Anonymous said...

Well sometimes even us women suck in the gift department.I tend to lean towards functional gifts versus frivolous...that being said, if I were her I would've packed the only things needed in that weekend bag for two..
Black lace and a bottle of Dom.

Floogin McNoogin said...

Lace and a bottle of Dom? Interesting. If that's all I need, the bag would work.

Laura said...

What did you get Mrs. McNoogin? As in wrapped in a box.

Floogin McNoogin said...

Mrs McNoogin was taken to Daniel, here in NYC, she received several cards, I added ten more sessions with her trainer and I offered her a night of love, McNoogin style.

She accepted so we took turns masturbating in the bathroom. Good times.

foxy roxy said...

Wow. Nine years. And still gift problems.

Don't worry, next year should be slightly easier- the ten year mark. Traditionally, tin/aluminum.

Or maybe that'll be more difficult. I haven't seen many tin/aluminum items that would pass for classy, so you'd do well to keep your eyes peeled.

foxy roxy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Floogin McNoogin said...

classy tin? honey, I got you a sixer?

oh, wait, I'm not getting shit.

I'm buying her a box of foil next year. she can use it to make all the things I'm not getting her.

foxy roxy said...

Now there's an idea.

One can wrap themselves in tin foil and meet the other party at the front door.

An anniversary to remember.