Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Sign of the Apocalypse

ok, so I joined face book. I know, I've railed against the stupidity of the site and how I don't understand it and I don't have time for it and I think it's just for people to find old flames, see where they made mistakes, see if they can't cyber cheat on their significant others and see if their lives are better than their childhood friends.

I didn't do it for myself. I didn't do it to see where my ex girlfriends are. I didn't do it to see if I am married to a prettier woman than my childhood friend or if my kids are cooler looking than my ex's.

I did it for work. I did it to be a part of the business I am involved in and to help further the reach of said business.

And what have I managed to get for it? Well, lots of spam about farm critters and other people's activities at the moment so, here's my plan with all of this.

I am going to tweet that I got a facebook account. Then I'm going to write on my facebook wall that I tweeted about my facebook account. Then I'm going to tweet that I am going to update my facebook account and, after I update it, and everyone gets the update blasted out to them, I'll tweet that I did it for good measure.

I'll post on facebook that I'm taking a break from posting on facebook but I'm still going to tweet and then I'll tweet that I'm no longer going to tweet, opting to update my facebook page instead.

Then I'll have lunch. I'll tweet and update facebook with each bite so everyone will know what I'm doing at that exact moment.

then I'm going to call all of my friends, one at a time. I'll ask them what they're doing, at that exact moment, and then, when they tell me, I'll hang up and tweet and facebook it so everyone knows that I am up to date with my friends and my own tweets and facebook. Then I'll update my friends, via the phone, to tell them I'm going to tweet some updates but I'll only tweet that I'm updating my facebook and then I'll update facebook to say that I've had enough and I'm going to kill myself.

Then I'm going to tweet that I will update facebook right before I off myself. I'll post this on facebook and then I'll tweet that the facebook update was not my final update before offing myself.

Then I'll have a smoke.

I'll tweet about it because, well, everyone wants to know that I'm sucking on a small stick of dried plants and paper.

Then I'll post my final words on facebook and I'll tweet that I've posted the final words on facebook.

Then I'll update facebook so that facebook gets the last word, and not twitter.

Then I'll tweet that I am going to try and post a final comment on both, simultaneously.

Then I'll take a nap.

Then I'll come here and write about how fucking stupid facebook is and how fucking ridiculous it is to update every minute detail of your boring lives so that everyone else can wallow in your misery.

Seriously. We don't give a shit. You want to tweet or post something in real time on facebook? Here's what would be interesting.

tweet: I'm going down on a woman right now.
tweet: she's wrapping her legs around my head. think she's gonna cum
tweet: squirtz. damn, bb is wet. might break

or facebook update something like:
robbing a bank
holding gun in one hnd nd typgin wit otter. gettign cassh nd takig offf
cops heer i in trubl

We should all go back to writing letters. Using proper fucking english.

gotta run. facebook needs an update


AccessDenied said...

Ok, so whats worse?
Facebooking about tweeting...tweeting about facebooking, or blogging about both and tweeting it?

Floogin McNoogin said...

I'll have to tweet a facebook blog about it and see what I come up with.

Someone You Don't Know said...

"We should all go back to writing letters. Using proper fucking english"

omgz...lolz...srsly agree wit u der.

funny post.

Floogin McNoogin said...

omg lol ur 2 fuuny.

my daughter used omg in a conversation the other day and I had to have a sit down with her so I could explain the concept of proper english. Scary

Someone You Don't Know said...

I can't even use "txt speak" in texts. Takes me fucking ages to write a message to someone using my mobile phone, but dammit, i will not abbreviate "to" to "2" or "you're" to "ur".
It would make me feel altogether dirty.

Trenton said...

Gotta watch out for that punctuation and capitalization stuff there too Floogin!! HAHA!! :D

Trent :-)

Floogin McNoogin said...

Dirty can be good but not mixed with text speak.

Someone You Don't Know said...

Can't argue with that sentiment, dirty can be downright delicious.

Floogin McNoogin said...

Red light district warning ahead.

Someone You Don't Know said...

I'm not sure how to take that so instead I'll just say that I've never been to a red light district. Do they really use red lights? I used to have a red light bulb in my bedroom but that was only because i liked the way it looked.

Floogin McNoogin said...

The only red light districts I've been in were in Boston and Amsterdam. Amsterdam's is aptly named as they do have red lights over the brothels (thus the name).


Boston's I can't recall as I was a kid passing thru the area.

Someone You Don't Know said...

Thank you very much for that. They say you learn something new everyday and today's lesson for me apparently, was the history of red light districts.

Cheers :-)

Never been to Amsterdam or Boston. The latter is understandable, but the former is unforgivable seeing as i live practically next door.

Floogin McNoogin said...

Amsterdam is pretty cool. I was there after high school, with my dad. Thus, the experience was somewhat incomplete. No, I wouldn't find my way inside those warm, soothing red lit buildings and, yes, my dad and I did walk thru the area.

I figure it would be vastly different to be able to hit the hash bars with friends, rather than sneak some space cakes when the old man isn't looking.

Trenton said...

Amsterdam is one of those places that I HAVE to visit/experience before I die. I really want to go there for a few weeks, and just kick back and enjoy myself.

Trent :-)

Someone You Don't Know said...

11 days without a post is too long.

You have the knack of making anything sound amusing so please post more. And, no, I'm not that bored...just that i check here pretty much every day and when it's a post i already read, i die a little inside.