Monday, February 22, 2010

Day Three, Stuck At Sea

After leaving Nassau, the boat headed to Coco Cay. This is a private island, owned by the cruise line, and it is filled with activities for the kids. They've got water slides, snorkeling, beaches, land based games etc. This was the day the kids were really looking forward to.

We woke up and got ready for the day. By the time we sat down for breakfast, at least 4 tenders had transported 800 or so people to the island. The kids were wearing bathing suits under their clothes, our bags were jammed with all the necessities for a day at the beach. As we finished up our feeding at the trough, an announcement was made over the loud speaker. "Due to an increasing wind, we are temporarily halting tender transport to Coco Cay."

Great. Now what?

So, off to the top deck we went. The kids played ping pong while the adults sat around in an area of sun, trying to ignore the steady, cold wind blowing across the boat.

"The winds have increased to 45 miles an hour and we are going to begin evacuating the passengers off the island. There will be no return trips to Coco Cay. We apologize for this but the winds are creating an unsafe situation on the water leading into the harbor."

What the fuck do we do now? Stuck on the boat. Too cold to swim. Too windy for rock climbing.

The kids hit the arcade after playing ping pong for an hour. I hit the casino. The tables were all reduced to $3 minimums to entice every moron on the planet to try their hand at the tables. Free drinks were offered. The lines to the bars were snaking across each deck. People were getting a drink and getting back on line. A pathetic display of "gimme the free shit."

I sat at a blackjack table and watched a group of chinese passengers playing next to me. I was winning more than losing but the chinese, clearly unaware of the game and the basic concepts, were taking cards from me, causing me to lose more than I should have. It was frustrating as all hell, made all the more annoying because they spoke no english so you couldn't explain that you don't split kings when the dealer is showing a face card. To make matters even worse, even though they were doing it all wrong, they were still winning. After about 45 minutes, I gave up. I walked away with an extra hundred or so in my pocket but, I figured, I should have been up over $250. The dealer acknowledged as much and commended me on my patience and understanding when I didn't tear into the other players for not knowing what they were doing.

Dinner was, yet again, a fucking disaster. As mentioned in yesterday's posting, my mother in law bitched about the lack of chocolate desserts on the menu. So, at the end of dinner, the waiter came over and brought us the dessert menus. He also brought over chocolate mousse for everyone at the table. He said they had the chef prepare it for us, that it wasn't on the menu and nobody else was getting it. My mother in law tasted it and called the waiter back over. She then complained about how terrible it tasted.

I was sitting next to her, my wife and my sister in law had moved away from her to talk to the kids (in reality, they were distancing themselves from the embarrassment of her next complaint). I turned to her and said "they made you a special dessert because you were upset yesterday. you should have thanked them and not eaten it. Sometimes, a little gratitude, instead of constantly complaining, is the way to go."

She started to say something to me and I stood up and walked away from the table. I didn't want to get into it with her and I knew that, at that moment, if she were to respond in any way, other than to agree, I'd have lost my control.

That night we hit the theater again. The night's entertainment was a juggler and we figured the kids would love it. Surprise of surprises. We all loved it. This guy was fucking cool. He came on stage to the doors and proceeded to blow us away with his antics. Not only was the juggling cool as hell, he was fucking hysterical. He kept calling himself monkey boy, saying we wouldn't be impressed with an act, we'd simply want him to "add another ball monkey boy."

He did this amazing trick and then he said he only put it in the act a month ago and this was the first time he nailed it on the first try. Then he said "normally, it takes a while to get it right. Now I have time to kill."

Suddenly, from off to the side of the stage, a little voice says "dance for us, Monkey Boy."

The whole theater laughed. The juggler laughed.

My wife and I sat there, jaws open, stunned.

The little voice was my daughter's.

The juggler took it in stride and, after the show, when he came out to go wherever the entertainment goes on a cruise ship, we spoke to him about bringing the act to NY. He turned to my daughter and said "well timed joke, very nicely done."

We apologized and he laughed and said that he was serious. He said it was nice to see a kid who paid attention to the dialogue as well as the physical aspect of the show.

The kids went to bed, the parents hit the casino and we all lost a few hundred bucks in under 20 minutes. The casino, from this point on, was feast or famine.

Since we couldn't get off the boat, we left the island early, with the plan to be arriving earlier at Key West on Thursday.

Key West. Where we couldn't go fishing, instead, forcing the kids to sight see.

Key West, where we would begin the end of the trip.

I couldn't wait.


AccessDenied said...

I love it...just goes to prove no matter where you go, or what you see, the best entertainment can come straight from your own child.
Big smiles Floogin..that made my day.

Floogin McNoogin said...

Yeah, they have their moments.