Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Rest In Peace

It is with great sadness that I type these words out.  Today, April 12, 2011, Floogin McNoogin passed away after a long fight with an ever increasing pile of shit on his desk.  He worked 15 to 20 hours a day, 7 days a week, since February, only to come to the sad realization that there was no fucking point.  Nobody was grateful.  There was no medal to be had, no slap on the back, not even a hair toussling "good job."

So, he did the only thing he knew to rid himself of the never ending work.

He's threw every last fucking piece of paper from his window and then, after the pile was relocated, he doused himself in alcohol, and ignited his whithered frame before leaping out the window, onto the pile.

Fortunately, it was raining and the water and wind combination snuffed the flames and the soggy pile of paperwork cushioned his fall, allowing him to escape from a 20 floor tumble, physically unharmed.

Sadly, as he staggered from the pile, smiling with the knowledge that, perhaps, there is a god and that there are good things in store for him, he was run over by a city bus and, thanks to the well moving flow of traffic, several other cars managed to crush his corpse before it was discoverd that he was smeared all across 34th street.

Floogin was a good man.  A great father and a decent, at best, husband.


Trenton said...

Tax time getting to ya man???


Trent :-)

Anonymous said...

Alas poor Flugen, the fucking E-File mandate got his ass in the end.

I want his watch (he'll know which one).