Friday, September 17, 2010

A Great Way To Start The Day

I started physical therapy this morning.  I was expecting an agony filled hour of pain, sweating and suffering.  Instead, I had the most relaxing hour.

It doesn't hurt that the therapist is a rather cute young lady.

I arrived at 8:30 and was kept waiting for 15 minutes.  I was then brought into the back room where the therapist measured both thumbs, declared the repaired one swollen (obviously) and broke down the game plan.  Hot wax, electro therapy, some kind of ultrasonic stimulation, ice packs and massaging and manipulating of the thumb.  She then asked if I was allergic to strawberries or shellfish.  I said no, she said good, she had another type of therapy that she wanted to perform and it involved a lotion or cream that would give me a reaction if  was allergic to either of those things. 

She then told me we'd start with a hot paraffin wax and heat pack for about 15 minutes.  This involved me dunking my whole hand in hot paraffin wax 5 times, creating a wax glove.  She said it might be hot but it will cool quickly and she then said, like when you play with melting candles.  I, of course, had evil visions of hot wax being dripped over the body.  I dunk my hand in.  It felt incredible.  I did it again.  And again.  Then she bagged my hand so as to avoid waxing my clothes or her furniture and she led me to a big easy chair that could've been Archie Bunker's, if she re-upholstered it.  I snagged my nook and read for about 15 minutes, my wax gloved hand wrapped in a heating pad.

Then she had me peel off the wax glove and she said she'd start massaging the scar tissue to break it up and then she'd do a bit of manipulation of the thumb, nothing major as she wasn't expecting me to have much mobility for the first week or two.

She took my hand in hers and looked up at me and asked if I had eaten anything yet.  I told her that I hadn't but, if she was offering lobster, I wasn't allergic and I'd love some.  She laughed, said shrimp cocktail was on the menu and, actually, some folks tend to feel light headed and dizzy from the pain she was about to induce and an empty stomach tends to exacerbate the issue.  I told her I'd be fine and let her know if I started feeling woozy.

She started working the scars and it felt incredible.  Very mild pain at times but, for the most part, so relaxing.  She was asking me questions, making small talk and she asked what I do and, upon telling her I was an accountant, among other things, she asked if it was ok to ask some business questions.   I gave her my thoughts on some nonsense she dealt with a year ago and then she stopped and asked if it was hurting.  I said not at all and she said I was a very good healer, most people are sweating from the pain at this point.  Feeling better about this whole thing by the minute.

Then, there was a lull in the conversation and I realized that it hurt more when I was focused on it.  Made sense. 

The small talk continued, she started moving my thumb around and she was stunned at the amount of mobility I had.  She said I was 3 weeks ahead of where I should be in that area.  Good stuff.

Then she squirted globs of goo on my hand and started moving some odd sci-fi device over the scars.  She said I wouldn't feel a thing but it really does work.  After a pause she added "and it's a high price coding on the insurance." 

She wiped my hand clean and place electrode things on my thumb and wrist and started zapping me with electric stimulation.  She said I'd be sitting with it for ten minutes and I should tell her when it's too much to handle.  She hit the button once and asked if I felt anything.  I said no, she hit it again.  Nothing.  After about six or seven jumps in voltage she asked if it was ok and I told her to ramp it up, I barely felt it.  She seemed surprised.  Apparently, the current I wound up at was the highest they'd ever given anyone.  It felt incredible.

They wrapped my hand in an ice pack and back to Archie's chair I went.  Ten more minutes of reading and she came to remove the wrap and the nodes.

I get to do this twice a week for the next 6 to 8 weeks.  I'm fucking thrilled. The cute factor, coupled with the cleavage shot I was staring at for the bulk of the hour made it all the more enjoyable.  The only problem I might have is that the massage and the view, combined, might wind up putting me in a rather stiff situation.  Of course, there's no better place to be to work out the stiffness than a cute physical therapist's office.

1 comment:

Trenton said...

Any chance that I could borrow her after you get done with your treatments? I have a feeling that I'm gonna have a severely sprained finger that's gonna need some serious TLC here in a few weeks...


Trent :-)