Monday, December 08, 2008

Starbucks Stupidity

Every morning, like clockwork, I enter my office building and head to the starbucks in the lobby to snag me a big cup of joe. Every morning they get me what I want without me asking. Every morning they put the heavy cream out for me. I never have to say a word. Of course I do speak to them. I say hello, ask how their weekends were, make small talk and thank them for the coffee etc. They all know me there.

Except when they get new folks into the mix. Then the system breaks down and all hell breaks loose.

So, this morning I walk in, hold my $2.28 out to the new lady behind the counter and ask for a venti bold. She takes my money and one of the women I know says goodmorning and hands me my coffee. Everything is moving along nicely.

I head over to the condiment bar to put my equal and heavy cream into my coffee. There, on the bar, is my cream. So far still good.

Then I hit the condiment bar. There's a new kid working there, cleaning it up. Two women are struggling to prepare their coffee on either side of the idiot taking up all the space as she cleans. there's a line of people waiting for their various drinks and there's a line of people waiting to use the condiment bar because this moron decided to clean it during the busiest time of the day.

So, I stand there, coffee in one hand, cream in the other, waiting for one of the women to finish making their coffee or for the employee to finish cleaning. The two women trying to make their coffee are, clearly, frustrated, by the cleaning going on.

They both finish up and leave and I move in. I put the cream down, I put the coffee down. I grab 4 packs of equal and go to put it in my coffee. Where the fuck is my coffee?

The woman cleaning up has moved my fucking coffee so she could continue cleaning.

I move my coffee back, open the faux sugar, pour it in and look for the cinammon. Find it, go to shake it into my coffee and it has moved again.
I move it back, shake the cinnamon and reach for a stirring stick. I go to stir my coffee and the fucking moron moved it again. Only this time she moved it under my arm and I manage to spill half my coffee onto the counter and myself. My rather expensive (bought at a major sale, more than 60% off) sheerling coat with the suede exterior is now doused in coffee on both arms.
The woman trying to clean now has a real fucking mess to clean and I am furious. I start wiping the coffee off my sleeves, trying to pat the fucking sleeves dry, hoping the jacket isn't destroyed, and the woman starts moving my shit around again. The new movement causes the coffee on the counter top to run over the sides, onto my legs and shoes.

I turn to her and tell her that, during the busiest time of the morning, her best bet is to stay as far away from the condiment bar as possible. The tourists are watching me. I need to remain calm. I don't want to be the ugly New Yorker but I am furious.

The woman tells me there's a mess that needs to be cleaned. I tell her there wouldn't be one if she wasn't trying to clean up after people while they are still cleaning.

She walks away as I mop up the coffee on my legs, shoes and coat and then I go and ask the barrista who is making the espresso based drinks to top off my cup and give me a new lid, please. she does and apologizes for the issue. I tell her not to worry. Not her fault. I'm pissed but what can I do, really?

Then the new hire comes over with a fucking wet nap for burning liquids or something.

I had no choice but to laugh. I look at her, tell her she just managed to spill coffee and ruin my coat, my sweater (light blue cashmere w/coffee colored stains around the sleeve edges), possibly my pants and shoes and that a little wet nap won't really do much. She says it will take out the sting. That's right, it will take out the sting. I tell her it's the sting in my wallet I'm concerned with and walk away.

I gather my shit, grab my coffee and as I'm leaving the door I hear "MOTHER FUCKER!" and turn around. The woman knocked over someone else's coffee.

1 comment:

Laura said...

2.88 for a venti..wow. Costs more in my "little" town.

The only time our Starbucks goes tits up is when only the men are working. :D