Thursday, December 02, 2010

Stripper Punishment

Last night, I got a call from a friend.  He was in the city and wanted to get together.  I agreed to meet him, and another friend, for a few drinks.

A few drinks was an understatement.  I feel like death.

So he gives me the address where he was and I hop into a cab.  The cab pulls up to a nondescript location with two large bouncers out front.  Strip club.

Great.  I'm stone cold sober and walking into a titty bar.  Alone.  I never felt more pervy in my life.  Might as well be sitting on a park bench, jerking off whilst watching the girls' field hockey practice.

So, I walk in and, upon entering, a tall blond girl who looked a bit too much like a collagen experiment gone wrong comes up to me, says "are you Floogin?" in a heavy russian accent and, upon confirmation of my identity, she grabs my hand and literally runs me through the fucking bar.  I can barely keep up as she drags me upstairs, makes me wait for a couple of minutes, then races me back down the stairs and ushers me into a tiny room.  In the room are my two friends and another girl.

This other girl is sitting next to one of my friends, he's holding her tits as she is running her hand up and down along his cock.

I'm too sober for this and, to be honest, I don't ever want to be in the same room as a guy with a boner. 

I'm shoved onto the couch between my friends and collagen girl grabs another girl and a waitress and we order a bottle of $20 vodka for $375 and wait.

The bottle arrives and the girls start literally pouring it down our throats.  The girl stroking the guy on my left is talking about how she wants to suck balls and take it in the ass.  My friend's hand is now inside her minuscule g-string. Collagen takes off my belt and wraps it around my neck.

I put it back on.

She goes to take it off again and I tell her that, if it comes off again, I'm going to bind her arms behind her back and beat her senseless.

This didn't go over too well but, given the amount of money these girls were making for sitting in the room, she opted to, instead, remove my shirt.

She unbuttoned my shirt, my other friend had his removed.  The girl getting finger fucked is talking, nonstop, about how she wants to play angry pirate, angry dragon, wants a cock in her ass, wants to suck hairy balls etc.  She then, somehow, segues into her day job.  It seems that Inga from Sveeden serves sveedish meatballs at Ikea when she's not letting random guys slip a digit in her ass.  Yes, at this point she took my friend's hand and slid it behind her so he could finger her pucker.

The girls pretended to drink fast, pouring themselves drinks with little or no vodka and, every time they finished a drink they poured another round for us all.  Since I was sober upon entering the room, the alcohol hadn't hit me yet and I was well aware of the game they were playing.

So, when collagen decided to grind her ass in my lap, she did it facing away, taking one of my hands and rubbing it up and down her chest.  I used the covert position to grab her drink and take a sip.

Nothing in it but cranberry juice.

I leaned over and whispered to the friend who was footing the bill that he should not buy another bottle, should not pony up for another hour (at $1500 plus tip) until I was allowed to have a little fun.

As the hour came to a close, Inga from Sveeden was still jabbering on and on about all the shit she wants to do and then she tells us she shaved collagen's ass for her earlier in the night.  She said she doesn't use shaving cream or lotion, opting to lick it instead.

That was my cue.

I stood up and started to undo my belt and pants.  The girls all looked somewhat surprised.

I turned to Inga and said "I'm going to pull down my pants and bend over.  If you run your tongue along my hole, just one time, I will pay for two more hours and they don't even have to sit in the room with us."

Inga was, for the first time in the entire hour, dead silent.

I took her silence as a no so I said that, instead, she can get the same deal but she needs to lick Collagen's ass hole, like she said she did earlier.

Collagen was taken aback, clearly unsure as to whether or not she wanted her ass licked.

Inga stood up and said that the hour was up and asked if we were going to get another bottle and extend another hour.

I told her we were going to do two hours, pulled out the platinum card, and reminded her that, all she had to do was eat some ass.  Mine, Collagen's, the other girl's etc.

She got dressed and said that our time was up.

My friend's were in hysterics.

As we were walking out, another girl approached me and was talking to me as we went to exit.  The friend who spent the hour burying his fingers in Inga, was negotiating another hour and, suddenly we were going back in. I had no desire to go back inside but I didn't want to sit around alone so we all started working our way into the back area again.  Inga saw me and said she didn't want me in the room.  I asked why and she said because I was asking her to do things she wouldn't do.

I told her that, if she wouldn't do it, she shouldn't spend an hour talking about how badly she wanted to do it.  I asked her if the list of things she wouldn't do included drinking fresh squeezed cum, getting her pussy fucked while someone else ass fucked her etc.  All things she said she wanted to do.

She was, again, silent.

The guy who was molesting her realized that there was no chance in hell he was getting his knob polished and decided not to spring for another hour.

We left the club.  I felt rather good at the time.  I somehow managed to turn the tables on the stripper. 

The punishment, however, was all mine.  I was out for about an hour and a half.  I drank three tall glasses of vodka in the last 45 minutes and, upon entering my apartment, I was fucking hammered.

My wife was pissed and I was drunk.

The hangover this morning is brutal.

Stripper 1, Floogin 0

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