Birthday Gifts

Well,the annual issue of what to get me for my birthday is now in full force. My mom, who has never bought me anything, called yesterday and asked me what I wanted this year. Now, to be fair, when I say she has never bought me anything, I should clarify this. She has bought me plenty. She just never did it on her own. Initiative is not her thing. If I were to call her right now and say I want "a swingline stapler with a box of staples" she'd tell me to buy it and she'll pay me back. She has done this with me for as long as I can remember. She does it with my kids too but they don't know and we wrap the gifts so they appear, to them,as presents.

So she calls me up and asks me if I want a flat screen tv. I tell her I plan on getting new tv's when I finally locate, purchase and move into my new home. Until then, if I wanted a flat screen, I'd have bought it. Not like they aren't cheap enough these days.

Then she asked me if I wanted something to do with music. I asked her if she meant a gift card to napster or something and she said "I figured you would know."

So, she's asking me to figure it out.


The two things I want are new headphones, which I would buy if I wasn't disgusted by the price tag ($550), and a watch. The watch I want is something I want to buy myself when I close a big deal or feel the need to reward myself for something. I don't even know which one I want but I know what I like and the watch is going to be expensive. Not Rolex expensive. A. Lange & Sohne expensive.

Anyway, so she's hammering on me and I don't have time to think about it, let alone go looking for something.

My wife is also stumped. She was hoping to throw me that party until she got laid off. Then she was hoping to plan that party that I'd throw myself.

I told her I don't care about the gifts, which is true. I'd rather not deal with the never ending display of items that are not right for me. I'd rather not watch her frustration as she tries to find something for me when I have everything I need or want.

I'll never understand how people need to tear paper off a fucking box to unveil some store bought item on their birthday.