Happy Birthday.....Whatever

Yeah, I turned 40 today. How'd it go? Fanfuckingtastic. Woke up, showered (nope, no time for a little celebration in the shower - never could figure out how guys do that but that's not for this post) got dressed, woke the wife, woke my daughter who said, as her eyes fluttered awake, "happy birthday daddy!"

She then asked me how I feel - so sweet this one. I told her I felt old and she said "don't say that, you're not old."

I asked her if she wanted to help me celebrate by blowing out candles on her pancakes. She laughed and told me that she couldn't help me because it's my dream, not hers and if she helped, the wish might not work.

She's an angel.


So I made her breakfast, we sat and talked a bit. The wife came out of the shower and gave me my cards. Nice stuff from the kids. My son loves me so much he wants to eat my face. Sounds like fun.

I opened the cards I got in the mail. Interesting stuff. My younger sister sent 3 cards. One from her and her moron husband and one from each kid. Nice stuff, typical stuff.
My mother in law sent an odd message. It was wrapped in a check for $400 so she's off the hook for this comment but, here's a direct quote:
"you're a good husband and a fantastic father"

See that fucking barb? A good husband ....fantastic father. Someone's not happy with me in my relationship with my wife.

Beats the cards I got from my own mother. Well, let me rephrase that. Beats the cards my mom bought for my dad to fill out. For the first time in 40 years my father wrote my cards. Both of them. My mother did sign one card but that's it. Just the mom and dad part, not a word otherwise.

While I can't stand my mother and I've known for a long time that she doesn't think very highly of me, this was a somewhat painful moment. My own mother can't even suck it up and write happy birthday. Fucking cold. I know I'm not the deadbeat son in law that she thinks is a fucking god, I know I'm not the money grubbing, can't wait for you to die so I can move in to your home and take your shit sister and I know I'm not my older sister who manages to drive my mother crazy by always forcing her own timeline into any event (power play).

No, me? I'm just me. And yet my mother has proven to me, yet again, that in deep recesses of her mind, I'm expendable.

Sad fucking way to start a birthday.

On the bright side, I'm not getting any gifts, other than the one a client sent over this morning. Not sure what it will be, probably booze or something along those lines but it's a gift.

Thanks to a special lady who sent a very nice birthday card. It arrived a bit early but it sure as hell was sweet. Still sitting on my desk next to a keychain from Roswell that I'm supposed to send out and, for some reason, can't let it go.