The Tale of the Deadbeat Continues

It seems the issue with my brother in law has finally reached its high point. My dad has cut him off, my mom can't look him in the eye and my sister claims she's on the verge of throwing him out. Personally, I don't believe my sister. I think she is pissed off but I think she is somewhat pissed at him and somewhat pissed at my parents for not giving them more money. That's how she is.

Case in point.

My dad is telling me how this guy is such a scum bag that he continued charging to a credit card that my sister had given him and he had run the balance up to about $10,500 and which she had told him to stop using.

What?

She gave him a credit card? Why the fuck would she do that when they, supposedly, keep all their cards and accounts separate? Why would she tell him to stop using it and not take it from him? When she came to my dad, asking what she should do with this debt of over ten grand, presumably hoping my dad would pay it for her, my dad told her to call the company and tell them you want to pay it off and cancel it for 80% of the balance (this is the amount they will let you settle for without further fucking your credit). Then, when they called the card to make the offer, presumably with my dad making that payment, they found he had added another $1500 to the bill since the last one. So, she says she told him not to use it but he did anyway. This, from a guy who was told he'd be thrown out if he didn't get a job and start paying down his debt. Again, I'm not buying it.

I feel for my sister. I do. She's married to a lump of shit but, I also know that she loves him and married him, even though she knew he was a lump of shit.

So, while I feel bad, I don't feel that bad. No way in hell she let him keep the card and trusted him to not use it. I think she's lying to my parents, much like he lied to them, in an effort to keep some form of the gravy train a rollin'.

Of course, I can't tell my parents this. Shit, for the last few years I've been trying to alert my parents to the issues this guy was creating, only to be treated like I was the asshole son in law.

So, as I continue counselling and advising my parents on how to deal with this, I simply tell them that the guy lies, he continues to like and that they need to tread cautiously with their daughter as it is clear that what she says to them and what really goes on in her household are, more than likely, two vastly different stories.

One of the more impressive stories coming from that camp is that the guy has been seeing a shrink and he was diagnosed with clinical depression two years ago. Even my mother scoffed at that one. She and I both agreed that, if anything, he's fucking depressed as hell now because he is no longer being paid to be a lump of shit.

The mayo clinic lists the following as symptoms of clinical depression:
Loss of interest in normal daily activities
Feeling sad or down
Crying spells for no apparent reason
Problem Sleeping
Trouble Focusing or concentrating
Difficulty making decisions
unintentional weight gain, or loss
irritability
restlessness
being easily annoyed
Feeling fatigued or weak
Feeling Worthless
Loss of interest in sex
Suicidal thoughts or behavior
Unexplained physical problems such as back pain or headaches.

So, let's clear a few up right off the bat. He's not suicidal. If he was, he'd have done it by now. He doesn't have unexplained physical issues. I know this because, having spent a few years in the office with him, I got to know way more than I ever wanted to know about him. Don't want to discuss the sex thing. He's a bit jabba the hut like, with this massive pumpkin of a head and it pains me to see him in a bathing suit, let alone picture him rogering my sister.

Unintentional weight gain, or loss. He was a fat fuck for a long time, long before he claims he was diagnosed as depressed. He recently lost a bit of weight but that's because he went on a very serious diet. So, not at all unintentional. Difficulty making decisions? He always seems to be trying to make decisions for everyone so we can rule that one out.

Now, let's get to the issues he has that might indicate depression.

Loss of interest in normal daily activities. Not sure if he has lost interest in the daily activity of work. He wakes up each day and goes somewhere, either his brother in law's office or some woman who he is trying to do business with so I can't say he's given up interest in that. During the summer he would wake up at 5:45 on saturday and sunday to play golf, he'd come home, oil up his island of a body and lie by the pool, ignoring everyone, until it was time to go fishing and then he'd get his shit together and get on the boat so we can rule out the loss of interest. While we're at it, we can rule out trouble focusing or concentrating because golf takes a lot of both and he never suffered enough that he couldn't play golf. We can also rule out fatigued or weak feeling since he woke up to play golf, would take his kids biking and he'd go fishing and play other sports with his son.

Feeling sad or down and feeling hopelessness. Well, now, sure, probably since he is now faced with the realization that his wife, inlaws and everyone around them know that he is a worthless lump of shit but over the last two years? No way. He was a happy fucker who loved going out to dinner, loved doing all the things previously mentioned and so on.

I'm sure he cries now and I'm sure the reasons are clear. I'd be a weepy motherfucker if I owed my father in law about $150k and everyone thought I was a waste of space.

I also wouldn't be able to sleep.

Irritability. This one I'll give him. He is irritable. He is also easily annoyed. Two on the whole list that might qualify him but he only gets irritable at his wife, his kids and my mother when she asks him to do something, like replace the empty bottle of vodka that he, alone, finished off the night before. He's been annoyed and easily irritated by his kids since they were born but, they are the most annoying kids on the planet. Fuck, if I had to listen to his whiny son cry whenever he was told no about something, I'd be depressed too.

The other thing about his irritability and easily annoyed personality is that these traits were most prevalent during the day, before he'd start drinking. That makes him an alcoholic who is itching for his booze, not clinically depressed.

Restlessness? My mother just told me, last night, that there's no way in hell she will allow him to lie around the pool doing nothing all day now that he doesn't have the free golf membership. So, he likes to lie around and do nothing? Hardly restless.


He's a con artist. A gold digger. A scum bag. A lying sack of shit.

He is not clinically depressed.

Anyway, the saga continues as the days progress and, since I have started discussing it here, I will continue to do so, in case one of the 5 people who reads this, gives a shit.