Friday, October 17, 2008

You Lazy Fuckers

So I finally get my adsense back up and running and there are real ads showing and you lazy shits don't click a single ad? Seriously. There are at least 100 people who have shown up and read my this blog. You think this shit is easy? You think I sit down and the words just leap off my fingers onto the monitor? You think I'm doing this because I like it? I have mouths to feed, bills to pay, just like the ret of you. The little McNoogin's are getting bigger, they need new clothes. Mrs. McNoogin is spending my money like she's trying to break a record, not her husband. Don't forget, I'm taking the whole family to Disney. We're not packing up the metallic pea Wagon Queen Family Truckster and driving there. We're flying. The McNoogin's must go in comfort. I didn't when I was a kid. We drove south, endured the hell of long car trips with little sleep and annoying kids. My family is, apparently, better than that and they must fly. So I need those clicks. I need the income or little Groogin (not his real name) won't be able to get those mouse ears he covets.

It takes three seconds to click a link, so click a fucking link you lazy motherfuckers.

Ok, got that out of my system. I feel much better now.

Truth is, it's been an up and down kind of day. Had to take little Broogin (not her real name) to school for some parent thing they do once a month. Then I went to my office for 9 minutes and ran back to the hospital near Broogin's school to pick up Shroogin (not her real name) who just had a "procedure." No, not something good like bigger boobs. Nothing major, just some repair work on an unsightly vein. Anyway, I go to pick her up and they tell me the surgery started late so she won't be ready to leave for an hour or so. Sit and wait and I realize my morning is ruined.

Then the doc comes out, tells me she's fine the surgery went well and I can come see her. Once inside the doctor tells me she rejected his offer of a pain med script. Before I could beat her over the head, the doctor hands me a slip of paper covered in doctor chicken scratch. He says "she did, however, tell me you get upset when she rejects the pain med offers so I figured I'd giver you one anyway. I hope percocets are good."

I dropped to my knees and started unzipping the doctor's pants. He said that wasn't necessary. A full bottle of pain pills and I didn't have to be violated in any way? Too good to be true. I figure the wife will wait until I am good and fuzzy and then she'll start bitching about something (everything) just to ruin the good buzz.

Took her home, set her up on the couch with pillows to elevate her leg, got her a drink, the phone, reading material and then back downtown to the office. Moron client waiting for an hour is still here. I sit with him, take care of his request and toss him out so I can run to the bank and get money to pay the sitter. Commerce Bank, Friday, 3 PM. Should take an hour. I walk in and there are 5 tellers, nobody on line. I walk over to the one free teller, the really hot one who flirts with me and who I saw on the street once with the sexiest see through top, and hand her my withdrawal slip. She starts asking me questions about my plans for the weekend, have I seen Nick & Nora's Infinite Playlist, do I want a blowjob, have I eaten at the new restaurant around the corner, can I please fuck her, do I like her new shirt and WHAT????

I hold my hand up and say "no big plans, might see Nick and Nora, yes, no yes"

Life couldn't be better. Really. It's great. I'm not working late for a few weeks, I'm going to Disney, you guys are going to check out that ad for lawyers or big cock pills or whatever it appearing on the page, I've got a bottle of pain pills and the hot chick from the bank wants to make sexy time with me.

I'll probably get hit by a bus on my way home.

way it goes.

1 comment:

Laura said...

May be lazy but at least I read yours....

Have fun with the pills.